Elftown Quotes

Let's make this intro more politically correct! Never thought I'd have to!
Everyone makes mistakes, or sometimes, they just can't give a damn. In ET houses, this gives rise to many a hilarious spelling error/grammatical error/train of thought. Due to the hilarity of these random statements, I felt motivated to make a wiki dedicated to sharing some the the less eloquently stated funnies we come across. Feel free to add your findings, but, because we are laughing at quotations, not people, kindly leave the quote maker anonymous. And, if you find a quote of your own on the page, and are embarrassed, simply PM [NOOOPE] and I will gladly take it down for you. I would also like to tell anyone whose words are featured on this page, we are not making fun of you. We all accidentally write hilarious things, so lets all suck up our pride and laugh at ourselves. Enjoy the page! I love you!

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Things I don't like is quite straght forward. I don't like stupid people.

I think thak you have to talk to someone before you van judge them but yah. So im punk rock well im going punk my mom laughed i think its funny. Well if you have any questions just ask me =).

I love to van judge people. It gets kinda expensive though, fixing/cleaning the hood after each judgment

Messages. just one little thing. Please spell correctly. And use grammer please.

It's Grammar, and it involves commas and capitals. (Note: Original comment was "It's Grammar, and it involves comas and capitals.")

I'm a piano wiz, but I don't know any songs

i.e. I don't know anything about the piano....

I'm also super naive and so nice that people like to take advantage of me. I'm getting fed up with it.

so you see I can get pissed off as well.

Wow, super-nice! I can see that. :P

I love my life and hate my family life. My friends are all bitches. i hate my school. I love my sisters and brothers.

A bit contradictory aren't we?

hehehehehe i giggle in your general direction and then send bd odurs right at you, how would you react

I... I... I have no idea how I'd react...

I'm looking for a girl who is sweet sexy and subtle! if ur interested message me!
(i will cyber wit any1 and will talk about anything, i mean ANYTHING)

Goodness... um, desperate?

Im a very Dependent and Confindent

One of those rare combinations...

new pole!.. ladys only!!

As Freud would have it, sometimes a pole is just a pole

I'm very childish and i believe it's because I kinda grew up quick. I love sports and video games. I do have my own anime character, which is my alter-ego basically. Her name is Kitty Kat.

Kitty Kat? Yup, pretty damn childish.

I have passed test, and I am now deemed worthy to be known as a ... ... Sorceress. In the war between good and evil, Sorceresss take the side of the noble and good.I am gifted with the elemental plane of Fire.

Thank God she "passed test." I was really worried for a minute that she wouldn't be able to become a made up magical person....

I'm sweet. I'm charming.
I'm an asshole. I'm hateful.
Bring it, bitch.

Again with the contradicting.

SOOOOOOOOOOOO....I didn't completely forget to update this here thing...I'm 17 now!!! AND UHH.....let's see...I'm lesbian, which you should know because of my name thingy on here....I'm quite random...I LOVE MOUNTAIN DEW!!! uhhh........hmmmmmmmmmm......girls are pretty...

Soooooooooooooooooooo... you're a lesbian? I kinda got lost there.

My house aint pefect and neither am i. So fuck off if you don't like it. I am a very charming, caring, sweet, and can help you with anything... when want to of course. So you can Bite me or just talk to me!

I love to be told to fuck off by a charming, caring, sweet, and helpful person, don't you?.....

(pic description):This is me in a dress for a Band Thing?! And that is my house!!! I don't boyfriend!!!!

I'm... confused (?!)

gards took everything down even tho I DID WRITE EVERYTHING! sometimes stoopidity pisses me off

I do hate stoopid people.

(Photo):HEY HAVE YOU LIKED ME???
(Photo): ME AGAIN PEOPLE THINK YOU LOVE MY STYLES.

hello, I'm (BEEP) from (BEEP) i want to get great womans and friends from all over the world

The people think what?!

i am smart funny caring honest gentleman i am very kind and nice person i have a great personality and i am very funny and i like toplay video games and go for walks go to sporting events

Smart, eh?

My favorite colors are black because it's dark,red cause it stands for passion,green cause it reminds me of grass,Orange because it reminds me of the sun setting,and blue because it reminds me of the sky

Really? Black is dark? Oh My God! Thank you random person, I had no
idea that black was dark!

I am obsessed with taking pictures of myself, and have an issue with stalking people around me.

You know....those are two things that you really shouldn't want to admit.

Hello...I'm not really a clown but I am under your bed.I collect clowns and have come to find that they don't move so don't think they do.If you do,get over it!They arn't out to get you.  

Yes! Contrary to popular belief, CLOWNS DON'T MOVE.

If anyone who knows how Jean Havoc of FMA acts, then that's how i act, a goofy pervert who can be serious at times.
Now that is exactly who I am like, Jean Havoc, you know that hot blonde/browned haired guy from Fullmetal Alchemist..*goes of in a daze*

So not only are you comparing yourself to an anime character (lame), it seems that you are also attracted to the anime character you look like.  Strange.....

I'm not good with artist names and song tittles and no I don't fallow the bands.
All I truly care about is that they make awesome music.

Hehe... so I totally agree with this person, but, tittles? HAHAHA...

I like lisent to nirvana music and to hevy metal.....
i play on clasic guitar but i am not perfect on it i am like chilerd lernig how to spik.
I hate my life i hate my parents.......
owrite duids i gone go somewer and i gone die in pis......

Heh. Hehehehe. Yeaaaaah.

obviously, do u ppl like not know how many ppl she her asses evry day?

She does what now?!?

I love to hang out with friends,family,and people.

Hahah, ok, I find this funny just 'cause it makes it sound like their friends and family aren't people.

yes i do play (golf) and (football)
i manage hockey to

Yes you "do play and"? And you manage hockey to what?

I am a purple elf with blue insingnias on my body. I enjoy staring up at the moon. I have only one tattoo; the one on my left shoulder. It is of a green rose. I wear 2 small silver hoop earings. My hair is auburn, and is wavy/long. I have long legs and D sized breast.

Wait... only one?

Hilarious stuff is hilarious and sexy stuff is sexy.

Er... were you expecting something different?

I'm also a good dancer, especially if my pair wouldn't use so big of steps.

Your pair? I'm afraid to ask why your breasts are walking.

personally i believe that mario is better than sonic but that tails is still good and that princess peach is way too good for mario but that its much better than the alternative because i don't think a mushroom man would give good babies.

HAHAHAHA.

If your thinking about messaging me because you want to see me naked, think again, but I’m totally up to talking about anything and everything, so don’t hold back when it comes to messaging me. And if I want to continue talking to you and I want you on my friends list, that means you got to continue talking to me.

Um... did I sign a contract that I didn't know about...? And why would I want to see you naked? Huh?

I LUV MEETING NEW PEPLE!
I AM 13 YEARS OLD! AND I AM HOME SKOOLED! AND ALSO I AM VERY FRIENDLY! =] IDK WAT TO SAY RIGHT NOW BUT YU MAY ASK ME ANYTHING YU LIKE AND I WILL BE HAPPY TO ANSWER =]

Wow... caps? And it is obvious that you are home schooled.

ROLE PLAYING WRITING DRAWING SINGING HORRIBLY HANGING OUT MEETING NEW PEOPLE TALKING LISTENING ARGUING DEBATING LOVING SCREAMING CRYING LAUGHING DIEING KILLING THINKING CREATING WANTING LUSTING NEEDING DESIRING TOUCHING EATING WAITING DOING ENDING STARTING PERFECTING

Wow. More caps. Seriously, this was the only thing in their house except for a link. Random.

Now, see here. That kid, Cody, is MY PANDA!! Mine!! Fuck with him, you fuck with me. Trust me, you don't wanna do that...Know that I will protect that kid with my life. Doing any sort of damage to him is like drawing blood from my own flesh. If anyone hurts him in any way, shape, or form, that person can bet their ass, I will track them down and take my blood claim. Understood?

Do YOU understand that this is the internet? The worst you can do is harras me and then I can BLOCK your useless butt.

im boared

This was in someone's mood. I was like 0.o; you were boared? Like, by a wild boar, totally didn't hit me they spelled bored wrong lmao...

I wear glass and usually dress in dark clothes or something light… /Later
my hobbies are artwork, creative writing, listening to music, playing cards games, draw, watching anime, reading books, hanging out with friends, going on the computer, going to anime club, practicing wicca, reading runes, watched movies and playing crib.

Aw shit guys! Don't touch her, she's wearing glass!

The First thing you should know about me is not to get on my bad side. Once you have gotten there it is pretty hard to get back. In fact there are only 2 people who have gotten back out of about 15. If you get on my nerves i will tell you and i wont be a pansy and lie. I will NOT lie to make you feel better id rather tell the truth and see your reaction..and if you dont like this you should not have asked me in the first place. You mess with my friends you mess with me..got it?

I love it when people think they're bad ass.

mee!
i might bee getting neww ones up... sooner or later..i promise
i havee a big nose; donn makee funn of me because i'm not pretti.
it wudd be soo nott cool.

add mee tuu myspace

They are talking about their picture... wow. And I mean WOW. I think they are too young for typing and most especially the INTERNET.

Ish crazeh in love wif (BEEP)
It really, really sucks to be you Jenny! :P
Fuck you sam! You suck too!! XD
He ish mine! Ha ha!! XD

I know they're intentionally writing that way, but what the hell???

I also like the rain, b/c when you stained in it and your crying no one can tell that you are.

So remember folks! If you Stain in the rain and you cry no one will ever know! 

I ack like a big kid sometimes (all the time sorry haha).

But apparently you spell like a little kid...

And i dont belive in god that much anymore, well since 3 years old I didn't.

Considering that a normal child can't even tie their shoes at three, I'm thinking that grasping the concept of a Supreme being and then deciding not to believe in them at the age of three is a bit much. Come on, everybody say it with me 'cause I know you're thinking it......... Buuuuulllllll Shhhiiiiiitttt!

People that bitch constantly annoy me.

And this was posted as support for a wiki that is just that: a big, fat, constant complaint. Hypocrisy anyone?

Well actually I'm rreally a simple person i love to listen to music but who dosent i like to skateboard it like my passion i'm really a nice person tell you piss me off thats about

That's about... what?

My pants are almost ALWAYS at my knees.
I always have a new piercing.
I dye my hair constantly.
But I drink all the time.

Just... think about this person's statements literally. I mean... seriously? ALWAYS?

I act really wierd sometimes for no reason whatsoever. Also random.

SYNONYMS! 

i hate ppl who piss me off and love the ones that do

...it's a love-hate relationship, obviously.

I'm very good at writing one day i hope someone will pubish my children story about elky the mermaid and other stories i have written. I want to do sometimes in the media.
or write children stories.
anyways whatever i do i hope one day will change the world.

Elky the mermaid? I smell a Newbery award!

DO NOT Flirt with my FIANCE who, just so we're clear, is called (BEEP) so dont go claiming you didnt know he was engaged.
Last time someone tried this i went all the way to wales just to beat her up for flirting with him. (For those of you who dont know where wales is, its about 400 miles from where i live).
I'm not kidding. FYI i'm always with him so i will know if you've been flirting and you will pay for it. male or female, it doesnt matter to me. you will end up in hospital.

So let's assume she lives somewhere in the UK, and say a Korean girl flirts with her fiancé. She'd travel all that distance just to beat her up? Yeah... I think we have a psycho here.

I HATE YOU (BEEP) YOU SUCK< AND YOU CAN GO SUCK YOU NEW G/F'S *iffy word deleted*, WAIT A MIN THAT MEAN YOU HAVE A B/F LOL U ARE BI, WELL AT LEAST THATS WHAT YOUR FRIEND THAT YOU GAVE MY EMAIL OUT TO LETS SEE WHATS HIS NAME (BEEP) OTHERWISE NONE AS (BEEP) OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT

That was the most convoluted insult I have yet to witness.

Hi my names (BEEP). I'm 17 now.i love drawing elfs, demons, and video games ( RPGs).

It must be fun drawing all those shiny video game discs, I can tell ya right now.

If you dont give a damn, we dont give a fuck...if u dont give a damn go on, throw it up!

Okay! Wait... what? Oh, it rhymes... >.>;

Ill give hugs for drugs!!!
MM...... captain crunch is my heroe!!!!
I LOVE YOU BARNEY!!!

Um... yikes

Tall and very nice. And like to talk!

When you're entire bio is two sentences long, the least you can do it make sure those two sentences are written correctly...

im a dark being 4rm the relm of the dark moon ive come to build an aliance of evil demonic powers willing to take over the world and destroy the powers that be so watch out beings of light and goodness for ultimate evil has come to destroy u all

Someone is obviously in denial here...

i kill ignorance..and i HATE ignorant ppl!! but the ppl i love are MY TORI!! MY KIM!! MY BRITNEY!!MY JOSH!! MY DANA!! MY DOUG!! AND kyle and TAYLOR!! AND CLEM!! oh and britney is my GIRL!! and josh is her MAN!! lol.. and DANA was "OUR" introduction to GREAT music! !and so he says and if i dont say this for him he'd get pissed!! NAW JUST KIDDING!! DANA! DOUG BRITNEY AND JOSH ARE THE REASONs WE're STILL ALIVE SO RESpECT THEM GODDAMNIT!!

RANDOM caps LOCK all the TIME!

I have shoulder length brown with blonde highlights, green eyes and I'm 5'6. To me, I am vampire. A creature of the night. Destined to walk on this world for eternity alone. All I have is myself. I believe this what I am because in way or another I have always been alone.

Vampire....... Ok folks, let us just take a minute to soak in the deliciously wonderful idiocy of this statement. It is almost to beautifully stupid to comprehend....

Waking up in the middle of the night, with a exucating pain in my neck. I look up, and standing next to my bed was a vampire. I quickly scrambled to my feet and rushed to my mirrior. To see what causing the pain. I looked in the mirror. I did not see my see myself, While I was trying to see myself in the mirror, There was a coppery ordor in the air. I really paid no attention to the ordor and tried to see myself. I thought to my self what the hell is going on? They turned me into a freakin’ vampire, I thought only vampires were in movies!” I turned to around and I was then surround by vampires. I look around at them all, and then turned back to the mirror, I then felt a hand touch my shoulder, I did not see anything in the mirror. I spun around I only saw him for a second and then he was gone. “Dad?” I thought to my self. Then around me, the room filled with flames and they were gone but the amazing thing was not a thing was scoced. I was left standing scared and confused not knowing what to do. Thinking about my friends, and my mother. I had no clue what to do... (continued)

I'm trying to think of something funny to say... but I can't stop laughing

You may say he is ugly and has no sense of fashion
But I love the way he looks
He loves what he does with a passion
I have to go soon to return some books

*speechless*

(BEEP) sat on ger bed in her room with her nose buried in her favorite book.

It's like a dance! Her, one two, her, one two, her, one two, her, one two. It would have been even funnier without the spelling error. Shibby way to start a story.

I Am ..
Nice But A Bitch
Random
Strange
Wried
Mad
Everything Ur Not..

This doesn't make much sense...

 Two humans who are bored with life. They wanted some exictement. They wanted to annoy one of the most powerful demons of all.
 "What do you want to do?" said a man.
 "I don't know, what do you what to do?" asked the woman.
 "I know,......oh wait I lost it." said the man.
 "Great! That's why we are bored. What am I going to do with you?" wondered the woman.
 "You gave me an great idea!" said the man.
 "I won't do it with you." said the woman.
 "You're sick. No, no. Let's annoy a demon." explained the man.
 "If we annoy a demon, we'll get killed." explained the woman.
 "Why not? I mean we're bored with life right?" asked the man.
 "Right" said the woman slowly.
 "Well let's fine the closest demon to us." said the man.
 "Okay. You know, I saw a demon with long sliver hair not too long ago. Will he be okay?" asked the woman.
 "Sure, let's catch up with him. Come on, lets go." said the man.
 "First, let's make a bet. The first one dies, wins" said the woman.
 "You're on." said the man.

Oh random wiki button, you are my friend.

Well i am smart when i want to. I want to be a gard or enething relly. I don't got good spelling or gramer. When i put my mind to stuff i can do almost eney thing. If you have eney thing else you think i should add some thing just say it.

ANY. A-N-Y. It's a three letter word, come on!

I've changed since 16 but am still the same

Define "change", please.

Im a gay guy looking for a man to spend my life with. im into a lot so if you want to know just ask me.. i am willing to talk to any gay guy but no girls.

THIS IS NOT A FUCKING DATING WEBSITE OHMYGAD! You wont talk to any girls, 'cause they don't make you hard? This site is for socializing and aaaaart. GAH!

i love love lollipops..u know the ones with gum?? the cherry flavor. yum yum. i love cotton candy..i love teddy bears. i love rollercoasters. i love food. i love chopsticks. i love...okay i'll stop

i love to talk and listen and just be me. i love to LAUGH. i could laugh just by hearing someone else laugh. hehe ^_^
oh n also to joke!!!!!! lol

ok... thought you said you were going to stop?

yokwe!

...Is that supposed to be yes in Ewok?

I am INUYASHA'S OLDER SISTER AND DON'T SAY I AM NOT BECAUSE I PICK FIGHTS WHEN I AM MAD (even ask arua) I am really moody with my family. I have 2 sisters(DON'T YOU SAY I DON'T BECAUSE I DO) and 2 brothers. one brother is INUYASHA!!!!( I want to kill him so bad he is the problem for my anger) and the other one is older and his name is Sesshumaru. no wif i get seresly mad. i cant spell either. My eyes r fricken amber and i have a tail and the tail i have can change 2 a black wolf tail black tiger tail and a black fox tail. i have pointed ears also
32000 years old really but in the human body 12

I am actually at a loss of words for this one... it is disturbing.

some people think i sux but they can all burn for rest of there live in hell where i will see them and spit on ther burning bodys. i am in the us army and proud to serve this interesting country of hours. chat with me and i will tell u more about me then if u dont like me FUCk off and i will see u at the gates of hell
i am a interesting person but once u get to now me u now u will have a great fucken time.

There is so much going on in this description, but I have two favorites: 1) While misspelling "hours" as "ours" is a fairly common mistake, it takes real talent to actually hear a non-existing silent h in the word "ours." 2) I guess this person wanted to emphasize his/her point by capitalizing the word "fuck," but became apathetic toward the end of the word, and thus the k remains in lowercase.

Tired Tired tired kk today me and SOME CHICK were passing notes and she wrote if you call me blah blah blah i call police blah blah blah but now we are friends I have nice GUY friends not boy friends but GUY frineds 1 boy friend HOTTIE!!! BORED

Oh yeah right GUY friends GUY friends not the boy friend... Somehow I think she's trying to justify it to herself.

The warm sands pushed their way through his toes gently as he walked along the quiet and peaceful beach…and as the magical midnight sonata played the night through, the wonderfully enticing moon of full, rose above the silent waves that looked as though they were the on-coming tides of a dream that will never end…(Shadow)”you are unusually quite beautiful on this significant night of pure splendor, my dear blackest Rose”, (black rose)”oh, Shadow, you never do change do you, just as mysterious and paranoid as always, you foul creature you saying this, and then gently pecking his lips while hugging him and looking deeply into his eyes*”. All of the sudden the wind drastically picks up to a slightly ferocious Gail, (shadow)”this is rather suspicious, don't you think? *Slowly starts to draw his sword from its sheaf*”, (black rose)”yes, quite suspicious indeed dear, *slowly drawing her sword as well, and both of them are preparing their battle stances*”. The waves as well as the winds started to rapidly grow stronger and stronger as every single last second went by that seemed as though eternity. (Shadow)”I am not that sure but my pre-instincts are telling me that it is one of the seven deadly demons of element that the legend refers to, the one reigning over the forces of weather to be the slightest more precise”, (black rose) “ if you are right dear, then this should be really interesting, but quite fun, even if our business is getting in the way of our romantic night together, but hey, its all the more to hate the damned thing with”. (Shadow) “You do seem to have a point there darling, French kisses her very passionately, then they both dart over the water and up into the air towards the growling beast*”. They lunge and dodge, they strike and blast at the demon for about and hour, then when nothing is left of it but it's ashes and a few scattered pathetic remains attempting for survival, they cease the meaningless bout and return to the kingdom of darkness for their well deserved rest and relaxation, as well as other things…

I've given up on witty comments and critiques. I just wanna sit back and laugh my ass off.

The lonely boy sits by himself, with himself. The girl that absolutely adores him for who he is, is in turn quickly but surely becoming his object of pure affection, the only light possibly left in his pathetic meaningless life… Yet, even when he has all of the cards in his hands, he cannot seem to get over all of the fears that he constantly lives with, the torturous fears that just happen to inevitably get in his way of his own true happiness, and then as if those were not bad enough to deal with, all of the inherit circumstances of life come painfully crashing down on him at once…
This only leads to more and more tears of anger, pain, and sadness, these tears he cannot shed with even all of his might, these tears that are always forced to dwell inside his darkened mind, My silent raging screams of pure agony are always muffled by society's opinion of me, why cant they just understand, they never will understand a damned thing, NEVER!!!!!! I just want out, let me out, why in the hell will you not let me live my life, it's my life, and no body has the right to control it!!! I don't know who to love anymore, I don't know who to hate anymore, I don't even know myself that well anymore…

Another one from the same page. There are like... 10 just as good as these ones. I wanna post them all.

I'm truly a person who would murder you in your sleep if I got the chance!! I write horror with fantasy tossed in. my novels are about a family of greater immortals who are serial killers. sorry, but I'm really and truly homicidal and morbid. I'm also a published author. Someone asked me what novel titles I had out, please note that I never said that I had any of my novels published though I am currently working on several about the family I mentioned called Princes of apocalypse and Kali Reawakened.

Well in that case, I am also a published author. Feel free to congratulate me.

    MY POEM



  PEOPLE LIKE TO MAKE YOU CRIE

  THEY LIKE TO SEE FEAR IN YOUR EYES

  THEY WANT TO SEE WHAT YOU'D DO IF THEY HERT YOU

  THEY WANT TO NO WHAT WUOLD HERT YOU

 THEY NEED TO NO HOW TO MAKE YOU SCREAM AND BLEED
  
 SO WOULD YOU LET THEM MAKE YOU CRY

 ASK YOUR SELF THAT ? AND WHIP YOUR EYES

I'm whipping my eyes, because I crie, I no I've been hert before to!

i had my baby and im getting marid! if your not fun dont tall to me or a chick and im not a boy so dont think that its just that i get along with more guys thin grils ok. OH i like to do alot ok!

OK!

i just want a girlfriend that will love me as much as i love her. a girl that i can be with forever. a girl that i can hold in my arms and know that she wants me. a girl that i can watch smile when i call her beautiful. i girlfriend that i can get enjoyment out of by watching her smile. a girlfriend i could hold in my arms when she cries and comfort her. just some one i can be with. just some one i can be with. just some one that i can be happy with knowing that she's happy with me for who i am and not what i am

Desperate, anyone? Oh GAWD not another person using elftown as a dating site!?

<font color=purple>I have a wiki that I'm restarting, called...blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah [blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah already tearing their homes asunder, succeed in destroying everything they hold dear?]</font color=purple>

When are they going to realize that the font is not purple?

I am a girl, who loves to read and write histories. I belive that there is Vampires in our world, an that they aren't evil.(I allso want to be one. I really do!) I am a person that you don't understand.(I don't eaven do it my selfe.

Yep, I don't even understand them a little bit.

Your to ugley im To Fat
to many pepole in the world
i'll burn my life away
WE ARE WEAK AND DUM
it's A fuckt reality
Soon will be dead....will lay in our bed weve wastedo ur year's i wont shed A Tear!
.....i like my catch pharses

I find myself somehow agreeing with every single word of this. Weve wastedo ur year's. Always.

I LOVE SEX!!!!!!!!!!!!! SEX SEX SEX!!!
I LOVE HOT, HORNY, SWEATY SEX!!!
ALL DAY, ALL NIGHT!!!
I'LL HAVE SEX WITH ANYBODY... ANYTHING!!! I LOVE BEING NAKED!
Haha, I'm not THAT desperate ;) Well, it seems I have your attention now.

Um wow. Wow.

Left eye is blue right eye is a greenishyello and the right eye has a keyhole puple. I have a
burth mark on my coler bone that is the simbul of dracula

Written by a 20 year old with english as their first language...

...hellew there mr. computer yoo tecnical thing yoo ;o)..

.. I be the one known as allhana annastasia leonie charmane hunter ta-da my names so long and wierd yay go my name..

.. I Ish from a pretty little pinapple under the sea.. also known as *cough anik cough* euaw.. yes .. i know..

..mMm yew smell like rainbows :o)..

..I bum billy.. he be my biatch.. hes so much cooler than yoo :oP..

..my vegtable crew so rawks bow down to your Lady cucumber!! o yumickles there so juicy and green..

... dottyness oozes funkyness..

That is just a mess of confusion....what does that all mean, anyways?!


I've always thought my personality mimicked the Lion.
It has the unmistakable presence of nobility.
Moving with the unruffled calm of a cat and the dignified gait of someone in command, I have no need to walk or talk quickly since I'm never in danger of being ignored or marginalized...
So.......you want to dive inside in the mind of an artist do you?
A deep and endless sea of confusion and inspiration…can you feel the pressure?
Desire.......yeah, if I had to choose one word to depict what I am it would be that, in its totality.

Kid's giving Narcissus a run for his money. DAMN. DaaAAaamn.

Hello. I am a simple Elven man called Vaj'ir. I like to pick apples in the spring and feed them to my pet unicorn whilst playing the lute. My elven children sing "daddy daddy when will the elves be free?" and I reply: "Soon my children, soon. The elves will be free!"

P.S
I like Pancakes.

What a magnificent prelude to a future book! A book about elves and unicorns, how original :P

- - - - - - -

Looking for Hot Womens

Almost every girl on Elftown has gotten a sketchy flirtatious message from a mysterious gentleman with English as a second language. Dig through your received massages (ahem, messages) and post them for shits and giggles. Same rules apply, no names, but feel free to say if the message was sent to you. Names and shiz replaced in italics.

My name is BEEP from SOMEWHERE IN AFRICA, i just read your profile on elftown and you impress me very well. You are a beautiful lady and i am interested in making friend with you to see what comes on later. I am AGE, born on DATE so i am sure we have something in common provided you are single like me. I like to hear from you soon on EMAIL i am waiting patiently to hear from you soon. To [Mai Lynn] first day on ET. She informed him she wasn't single and...

Hey Mai Lynn,
    Thank for your mail and you are lucky that you are not sinle because i am sinlge and i am searching for my wonderful and my sexy dream girl like you in my life and die with such person. Anyway, i wish i am that man of yours because he is a very lucky man because you are soo sexy and beautiful and nice looking. You are a lady that every man wish to be with and i am proud of you. Okay, take a very good care of yourself and God protect you forever.
Bye....NAME

She doesn't have a picture of herself up.


AWWW GURL..U LOOK GREAT..HEY IS THAT REALLY U IN THE PIC.HEHE AM RICHARD..CAN I TALK U TO?

Strange, considering that the picture I have in my house is of me standing in a field wearing a winter coat, dorky hat, and a scarf at covered everything but the top of my nose and eyes. And the answer to his question was a big fat Nooooo.

hi friend.
I'm glad friendship doesn't come with price tags. For if it does, I'd never afford someone as great as you.
The nicest place these days is right beside your friends. A coin is easy to earn, a friend is hard to find. The coin depreciates but a friend appreciates. I lost a coin when I texted you, but it's okay because I got you.Care is the main ingredient that keeps true friendships alive despite separation, distance and time. Care sustains love. Since I can't see you, let my care be with you, friend!I won't promise to be your friend forever, coz I won't live that long. But let me be your friend as long as I live.
The rain makes all things beautiful, the grass and flowers too. But if rain really makes all things beautiful, why doesn't it rain on you?
If I could change the alphabet, I would put U and I together!

hope to hear from you.pretty one please i cant afford to lose you..you are so charmed..pretty am i confess you charmed me,,you have all the qualities..please like i said earlire i cant afford to lose you..i know prety one dnt turn down people just like that

My friend received this message... and she never had ever talked to him before. Pretty odd eh?

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YES, we recently experienced drama, and YES, if you're curious, you can read about it!

ET Quotes: Harassment or Truth?<- the conclusion via guards was epic. Love.
And our response et quotes rebuttal

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